As said, deprogramming has
different strategies for different situations. Generally it is within Short Term
Crises and Long Term Deprogramming. What is general and
common to victims/survivors is that deprogramming happens as either a reaction
to crisis periods or within an overall deprogramming.
Crisis periods are when we are
forced to contact for accessing and deployment. There are demands to contact by
either face to face, phone, email, etc and on a certain day, date and hour, etc
or within a certain time period. Stress happens when we are counteracting and
challenging the demands and the porgramming comes on with memories of the
torture and the threats. The programming stress also comes on when we disclose
or remember the abuse. The crisis period is fighting the memory of the horrible
torturing and the threats and lies, and within a strict time period. For
example, you maybe forced to ring on Sunday and you remember this on Thursday
and so from Thursday to Sunday you are stressed to the max. On one side is the
knowledge that you don’t have to ring – the “people” are horrible perpetrators
who abuse you to do their dirty work. On the other are the horrible memories of
torture and threats or really lies. So you become distraught. Also the parts
that have the memory are usually younger parts who feel very vulnerable are in
lots of pain and find it difficult to be rational, and to be talked with. You
make it to Monday, the day after the “deadline” but there is also another
backlash as you wait to see “if someone has died” which always turns out to be a
lie. By Wednesday you can start to calm down again as the parts see that it was
bullshit.
Deprogramming during a crisis
period is fighting the pain and waiting for the period to finish. Short term
strategies are really important. The most important thing is to look after
yourself. Try to not go into the programming memories deeply unless you feel you
can. Do whatever you can to stop the pain and cues and which doesn’t hurt others
or myself badly. Try to be in the moment by breathing, meditating, going for
walks, having a bath, swimming, simply resting, etc. Not buy into it and brush
it off. Talking about it with whoever can listen - a therapist, survivors,
friends, a telephone counselling service, etc. Get clarity and feedback if it
helps. Express yourself and say how horrible the pain is. Go somewhere that has
no people and scream, write it down, draw it, etc. Release the pain, the
frustration, the anger, etc. Talk or dialogue with parts and reassure them that
this period will ease. Let them express themsleves about this period wihtout
causing harm to anyone especially them.
Coping is putting it at bay or
aside. This particularly happens during crisis times like call backs. During the
rest of the year it is also important as there is a need and want to have a
normal everyday life free from programming. If in a crisis please the Guidelines
webpage. An important consideration here is to live your life in your/the
survivor's current age. Do not be tempted to go back to the violence and torture
of the cue that was long ago. Remember that the violence and lies are not
happening today or now. It is merely a memory and back in 1962 or 1983, etc. It
is 1999 now.
Overall or long term
deprogramming is addressing the “system” and undoing or dismantling it. It
differs to crisis management in that its aim is to get rid of the programming
altogether or to where it is manageable and controlled by the survivor. During
non crisis periods or when there is “slack’, the victim/survivor can deprogram
more fully. Overall deprogramming is a natural process because we don’t want to
have unnatural things such as programming in our minds and
body.
Overall deprogramming firstly
needs to have a strategy that is addressing the whole programming. This can mean
looking at it as a whole or taking it apart bit by bit or both. As we generally
are not aware of the whole programming, it usually means addressing
personalities or major areas of personalities such as the accessing part of the
system. It is usually the accessing parts that we address first as this stops
control and creates better safety to continue the overall deprogramming.
Undoing programming means
firstly understanding the personalities and their roles and tasks and the area
of their deployment. It then means going back to where the personalities and
programs were put into place and stopping the violence and lies so that you/the
survivor will never be affected again. This means doing a kind of "rewind of a
video" in your memory and controlling how you will get rid of the violence and
the real perpetrators and free yourself from the lies and binds (sometimes
double or more binds). Therefore a lot of this work involves doing traumatic
memory work and getting clarity about what perpetrators were doing what during
the programming process or session. The deception needs to be seen fully. When
the deception is understand the lies, threats and supposed loyalty to the
perpetrators is gotten rid of. Use whatever techniques you/the survivor want in
this. This was violence and deception that you had not control over then. Now
you/the survivor can and do whatever you/the survivor want/s and get rid of the
controlling memories.
The first major aspect is to
remember the physical trauma such as being placed into suspended cages, in front
of rotating blades, etc. Help the personality by suggesting ways s/he can escape
from them and if wanted to get revenge. This involves using imagination such as
becoming small in the cage and flying away. It can mean bringing in his/her own
personal friends and beating up the perpetrators and untying him/her before the
blades do damage. Suggest ways that the personality can escape or ask him/her
how s/he could do it if s/he had any and every resource available to
him/her.
The second aspect is to break
the binds of deception. Explain to the part that all the perpetrators in the
place whether there originally or coming in afterwards to “save you” are
perpetrators. They all knew what was happening and they all set it up together.
It was all a huge trick. Ask the personality to not buy into any of lies and
refuse to sign or agree to contracts. The personality can then get angry at all
the perpetrators.
The part may feel confused,
disappointed, angry, etc after this undoing of the programming and revelation.
Look after him/her and even explain more fully that it was all a trick in order
to control him/her. Ask how s/he is feeling and what they would like to do to
the perpetrators. Hopefully it will be anger. Aloow the part to express the
anger to the major perpetrator and/or to all the perpetrators. “Filthy” language
is allowed.
Each part was produced by
similar ways and so each part needs to be able to understand and discharge the
emotion. A part could also be originally abused and then further abused and so
each traumatic episode needs to be undone. Sometimes two or more parts together
were abused in subsequent programming “sessions”.
This memory work leads to
reassociation or integration back into the person and stops the control and
memories of the abuse.
The next aspect in the whole
programming system is to address the areas and layers. The programming system
was first produced as a predetermined structure by the cult. It had specific
stages of indoctrination that are generally called core and secondary/
tertiary/etc layers. For children this can start in the womb and for kidnapped
people it starts at the age they were kidnapped. This is when there is a linear
progression to programming. The core stages have particularly very heavy and
continual torture. When working on dismantling the layers, you may go back to
the core programming and work on the base layers. By working on base layers you
can deflate a layer on top of this to a small degree. However, as programs are
all about violence you will still need to work on the upper layers. They are not
simply put in without violence.
The other aspect are areas.
Examples are the accessing areas, the assassination areas, etc. One needs to
help the parts discharge and to explain to all the parts in the areas that they
are abused and so do not have to follow orders of working together, or dobbing
another rebellious part in, etc. By talking to parts in areas you can get some
agreement that there is abuse and each will see that they do not have to be
abused.
In undoing training, again
explanation that the part has been abused will lead to them giving up roles and
tasks. Use rational approaches that for example they arent even being paid! Or
that who really does get the benefits? Only abusing perpetrators get benefits.
Explain that people who they were lied to “were killing or plotting to the kill
their family” couldn’t know their families at all and that the perpetrators were
lying and manipulating them. Allow the parts to release their anger at the
perpetrators.
Deprogramming in dismantling
the system will become second nature over time. Its is good to firstly try the
discharging and memory work with a therapist or with another survivor or a
trusted friend. Then after some practice and good results, it will become
easier.
Remember, you cannot get a
full understanding of accessing or of programming today. The programming took
ages to put in and it cant be removed in a day. Rome truly wasnt built in a day.
Respecting yourself and your parts is the best way to undo programming. I have
had times when Ive pressured and demanded parts to “tell me whats happening”.
Everyone’s backs came up and wouldn’t say a thing understandably. I reminded
them of perpetrators. But if allow I them to tell me really at their and my own
pace then answers came forth just like human people do.
There is no full proof way of
knowing your whole system and understanding that you have completely
deprogrammed. You can use your intuition, the knowledge that you feel really
free, that there is no contact, or that perpetrators are not popping into your
head, etc to get some understanding. The best way to measure this is to get a
real understanding of yourself and whether you are living your life the way you
want all the time. This simply means knowing yourself and whether you are truly
fulfilling yourself. This means that everything you do is controlled by you and
that all your decisions and actions are for your benefit only. Perpetrators
sometimes will “fit in” with something you are doing to disguise their control
ie going on a holiday you have planned however if you get a true understanding
of yourself this manipulation will soon reveal itself.
Reclaiming and
reassociating. It is not necessary to reassociate the personality if you
don’t want to. Some survivors have reclaimed their parts and system and kept
them as they are with new jobs and being safe with the survivor so that they
arent controlled by perpetrators. They didn’t feel they needed to go back and
discharge and reassociate. A survivor I know talks about her GI Joe doing this
and that for the benefit of her, GI Joe and the whole system. Some survivors
have wanted to not have any reminders of the abuse and have gone back to the
memory and worked it through so that the part as such doesn’t have to be
dissociated anymore and not have the roles and cues. Some survivors are in
between – a mixture of parts, reassociated and integrated. All these parts are
ok and there needs to be no criticism of anyone. All the ways are ok as long as
there is no control by perpetrators.
Having Deprogrammed Enough to have a Non Abused Life
When a person deprograms
sufficiently so that they are not controlled by accessing and therefore
deployed, and arent affected by programming and abuse memories, they can start
to leave "the nest" of survivorship and have an independent life. Signs that a
person has deprogrammed are: not acting out greatly eg not seeing similar
looking people today as being the same as the perpetrators, and not seriously
falling into the same patterns of abuse eg sexual compulsion; being real-being
in touch with owns emotions and being responsible for them; if adults, having a
functional adult life- studying, working, parenting, leisure, community
pursuits, etc. One can never be perfect. The effects of abuse particularly from
grub abuse can be long term and fundamental. The important aspect is that the
person now has a fully functional life, with the emphasis on
life.