Having A
Life
This is the last stage in recovery and
means breaking away
from the support network and establishing an independent life that is not
seriously affected by the abuse. Having a life means not being accessed,
deployed or intimidated. In other words it is not being currently abused by the
government. It also means a person is not constantly affected by programming
and deployment memories so that their daily life is not severely disrupted.
S/he is not suffering from DID or PTSD, etc to the extent that they cant enjoy
themselves, do work, studies, etc and on a regular basis. In other words they
are living a normal life whatever normal is to them.
Signs of this are not acting out greatly eg not
seeing similar looking people today as being the same as the perpetrators; not
seriously falling into the same patterns of abuse eg sexual compulsion; being
in touch with owns emotions and being responsible for them; if adults, having a
functional and 'normal' adult life- studying, working, parenting, leisure,
organized domestic life, friendships, sexual relationships, community pursuits,
etc.
Please note that during survivorship, the
person maybe either already on his or her way to, or having some form of, an
independent life. Recovery is a gradual process and is not split specifically
into certain stages. This may include part time study or work, being in a
community organisation eg a church, doing the necessary aspects of life eg
travelling, shopping, paying bills, etc, being recreational eg bushwalking, etc,
maintaining friendships with supporters, etc, etc. These assist in having an
independent life.
Functional, empowered, manageable,
effervescent, the land of the living, etc are all words that can describe
having an independent life. It means not being dependant upon a support group,
counsellor, etc.
One can never be perfect. The effects of abuse
particularly from AGMC can be long term and fundamental. Sometimes a survivor
needs to check in occasionally with a counsellor or support group for expression
and feedback.