Safety
What is
Safety?
Safety is not being victimised
or abused by the grubs. This means not being accessed, reprogrammed, intimidated
and/or deployed by the grubs. This is what is desired when wanting and obtaining
safety and which means freedom from the abuse. Unfortunately after getting
memory and validation, victims/survivors still have programming and so therefore
can still be accessed, reprogrammed, intimidated and/or deployed by the grubs.
Counsellors who work with gmc victims/survivors believe that 90% of
victims/survivors are still being accessed during therapy. Therefore safety is
really seen as something to achieve.
Getting safety is the first
tangible step in recovery. It is a conscious desire to create both psychological
and physical spaces that are free from grub abuse. It means getting rid of
enough programming in your mind and creating a physical space where no harm can
happen. The desire for, and obtaining of, safety is itself creating a base or
nest, and something to fall back onto when in times of crisis or uncertainty. It
is also the awareness that you are actually escaping or have actually
escaped.
The grubs have lied and deceived
about “safety” as they know how important an issue it is. One perpetrator may
lie that s/he is “safe” or this place is “safe”, or “someone else is unsafe” etc
in order to get you to stay in one place or to go on a mission. Another
perpetrator may say the same or different. The important thing to remember is to
not believe any perpetrator on anything.
Therefore it is important to
understand what real safety is. As agmc victims/survivors we generally have not
experienced real safety at any time and so we may need to learn. Use your
intuition, dreams, rationality, whether you have actually been accessed,
reprogrammed and/or deployed by being aware of lost time and feeling spaced out.
Get feedback from a partner, friends and counsellor as to whether you are very
dissociated, not your usual self and losing time. These are signs of being
accessed.
Psychological and Physical
Safety and their Interrelationships
We therefore have to build
psychological and physical safety. Psychological safety is freeing yourself from
programming, particularly accessing, as this is the major way that the grubs
control. Physical safety is stopping the accessing in its physical means eg
controlling the telephone and email, and stopping possible intimidation.
Psychological and physical safety is interrelated. If you feel physically safe,
you also feel psychologically safe. When you want psychological safety
you also create physical safety.
Safety
is a personal place in one self where the grubs and its brainwashing and abusive
memories cannot psychologically get to. The aim is to create a more solid safe
place in ones self. This is the free, creative, untouched, analytical, joyous,
childlike, adventurous, soulful nature of yourself. From this base you can start
to work on the memories and the brainwashing better.
Many survivors are deceived
into thinking that a survivor does not or cannot control any part of
him/herself. The lie is that s/he is totally controlled by the grubs. This is a
lie. First of all the survivor got actual memory of the abuse and is able to get
validation that it does exist. If the mind was totally controlled, then s/he
could not have gotten memory and sought out validation. Another lie is that the
survivor is totally dependant upon the grubs. Challenge this by doing something
when you want to. Go to the movies when you want, read information about grub
abuse when you want, write about grub abuse when you want, even walk from one
room to another by your own self, etc. Human beings are not and can never be
robots. The grubs know this which is why they reprogram, try to
maintain accessing, etc.
WE are not robots and can really do whatever we want. Another way of
proving this is that we sleep, eat, dream, have feelings and memories. If we
were robots we wouldnt do these things.
From
this awareness comes the conscious and true knowledge that you control your
mind. There maybe lots of programming, but this is programming or lies and
deception. Gradually by undoing the programming, you will see more and more that
you in fact do control your own mind. You may know this already and its
important to emphasise this.
The
main way grubs control is through programming accessing. This is when
unconscious parts have to contact at particular places and times by either
email, private and public telephone, postal mail and/or face to face contact.
This can happen in your city/town/region, while travelling. and in Australia or
overseas. If you can stop the programming contact then you can break the
control.
Stopping
programming accessing means understanding the programming itself and being aware
of where you are physically all the time. Understanding programming means lots
of talking to parts inside, especially those that have to contact. You can ask
if anyone inside has made contact with someone. Sometimes you may get no answers
as parts are too afraid to answer because of the torture and lies. Sometimes you
may get false answers to cover up what happened. Sometimes you may have to ask
other parts who know of the contacting. but are not so intimidated. These parts
maybe hushed up by contacting parts. Use your intuition and rationality or any
other means to get an understanding of what is going on with the parts. Dont be
critical or condemning. These parts have been cruelly treated and sometimes when
they were children even infants and so understandably may balk and follow the lies of the perpetrator.
Listen and talk soothingly but honestly. Be respectful. If there is too much
retaliation going on respect this and also see it as a sign that contact is
actually happening. Use approaches that allow parts to describe what the contact
is but outside the confines of what they were forced to do. Most parts were
forced into allegiance and the contacting with speaking it or writing it down.
Ask them instead to draw what the contact is or to describe it another language
if they know another language, or use words similar such as wedding for
Wednesday, to use pictures from magazines, or to write it in the opposite hand
they normally use for writing or any other way that can break the rules of
allegiance and contacting. In this way they are not breaking the programming.
The parts do want to tell you but are bound up. They will give you clues by
these and other means and listen to them.
Mostly,
you need to develop their trust and explain to them that they are being abused.
They are being forced to do things which are against their interests. Child
parts particularly know what injustice is and when they see this will go against
the perpetrators and give you information instead. Sometimes you also need to be
firm, but again not condemning, as they are so beguiled and treated like fools.
Again once they see this they will help you. Parts are also abused between
perpetrators acting like “good guys/bad guys”. You need to show that all the
perpetrators are bad guys and actually know each other and are friends with each
other. They are all bad guys. Explain this in that a supposed good guy is also
pushing them to do things against what they want to do and when they want do it.
Piece by piece, and sometimes with a lot information, the parts will give you
information. They are not silly, but just treated as fools by the
perpetrators.
Another
way of seeing if contacting is happening, it to constantly observe and be aware
of what you are doing all the time. This may seem difficult, but after a while
you get used to simply being aware of when and where you are. Use a daily diary
and write down where you went and at what time. See if there are any patterns
like going to a particular park on a particular day of the week, etc. See if
there are any blank, missing times. Notice if you have any major unexplainable
urges to leave the house to ring, email, make face to face contact, etc or be
back at the house for ringing from you phone or emailing, etc. Notice if you are
making plans to do things but dont know what they actually are. ie youve
organised your day about going into town to a park, but there is really no
logical or any other reason to do this. You may have been forced to do face to
face contact at the park. The awareness and exercises either reveal the
accessing directly or will get parts to think about what is happening and with
trust will reveal the accessing to you.
Overall,
use your intuition, your feelings, your rationality – why was I in this place at
this time? I would have rather been back at the house watching a video. Also
your dreams or whatever gives you information, and most all listen to what parts
are trying to tell you.
Physical Safety
As said before, physical safety
is important for stopping programming and intimidation, and helps to make you
feel psychologically safe. There are many ways of obtaining physical
safety.
With programming and accessing,
it is important to control the ways the grubs may communicate and intimidate.
These are the telephone, email, postal mail and face to face contact. With
postal addresses, postal mail can be only postal boxes with redirected
addresses. The post office is very concerned about privacy and will try its
hardest to ensure this. You/the survivor could also ask a community centre,
religious counselling agency, therapist, etc if their addresses can be used.
With institutional recording of addresses such as banks and social security,
you/the survivor can give a post office box. When they ask for a home address
with social security you/the survivor can ask for privacy whereby only the
manager of the office has access. Escaping a religious organization/cult is
grounds in Australia.
With telephone numbers, you/the
survivor can also make up a name when having the phone connected. Telstra does
not require identification with over the phone instillation. If you/the survivor
receives intimidating calls, Telstra can change the number, sometimes free of
charge. You/the survivor can also have a mobile phone with only a post office
box. You/the survivor can also use an answering machine to screen calls. With
email addresses you/the survivor can obtain a free and anonymous email address
at an internet email address provider where you do not need to either give a
street/postal address or a correct one. Some providers are: http://www.mail.yahoo.com/, http://www.hotmail.com/, http://www.mailandnews.com/.
Some
victims also have to ring from public phones with specific times and numbers-
sometimes free call numbers. This is because they maybe travelling or more
accurately being abused on missions or because they are in a share house or
flats close to each other where people could be listening. If you feel urged to
leave the house or to find a public phone at particular times then this is
programming and accessing. This can happen in Australia or overseas.
An important issue is that the
grubs rely mostly on programming for contacting. So even if you have private
postal and email addresses and telephone numbers, it is the programming within
you that they abuse. In other words you could change your telephone number many
times, but if you are programmed to ring say on Thursday afternoon at two
o’clock, changing these numbers does not really affect what happens. Your
deceived and tortured parts will still ring. The important thing is to be aware
of lost time or feeling spaced out, or having an urge to do something, etc.
Changing or having private telephone numbers, postal addresses and email
addresses is important in that the grubs cannot contact you on these which they
may have been relying upon. Even if it is the programming times rather than the
number that is important, by changing the number it also challenges the
programming and forces you to rethink about what is actually happening. Why has
there been a change in numbers? Is it because there is accessing going on? By
talking to parts and seeing what is happening you can get an
understanding of what is really happening.
Stopping
face to face contact depends on the situation. If it is programming in that
subconscious parts are meeting someone either at a particular place or your
home, it is again important to be aware of lost time or feeling spaced out, or
having an urge to do something out of the ordinary or contrary to what you want
to really do. With intimidation where you are consciously being harassed such as
someone coming to the door, you can call the police. Get a description and the
license number of the car if possible and pass it onto the police and a lawyer.
This applies to stalkers both walking and by car.
If a perpetrator, including
someone in the family continues to harass, then you can press and be granted an
apprehended violence order (called an avo) through a court. An avo specifically
stops any written, telephone, internet or face to face contact and is supported
by the police. Both are relatively easy to get. A letter of demand can be simply
written by a lawyer and a court will grant avos when a person shows some form of
intimidation. Lawyers know how to get an avo very quickly. The avo particularly
is treated very seriously by the police. (Lawyers can be free or very cheap for
people on a health care card in Australia. Just ring Legal Aid in each
state.) You do not have to explain eg as a grub survivor, why you do not want
contact. The courts or police cannot demand a reason from you for why you are
being harassed. This is simply intimidation and must stop and goes for both men
and women survivors. Some survivors have said that they are sexual assault
survivors (so as to not to have to explain grub stuff) which gives the police
some understanding and sympathy.
If
you feel like challenging the perpetrator/s to lessen or actually stop the
programming and intimidation, anonymously write down the abuse and said a copy
to the grub abuser. Tell the grub abuser that copies have been given to
unidentified trusted lawyers and counsellors which you have done. If the grub
perpetrator does do anything you can call on the counsellor and the lawyer to
provide the information. Basically it is calling their bluff and does stop
them.
Travelling
Constantly
Many survivors constantly travel
for physical safety. Constantly travelling can mean less accessing and
reprogramming. The grubs would like you to be in one place as the main
perpetrator is there and can manipulate you directly either with close
accessing, deployment and/or reprogramming. The main perpetrator knows the main
cues and deception abused. Also a lot of their time and money went into the
programming which they do not want to lose. And there is some arrogance in that
the perpetrator treats the victim like s/he is some “personal pet”.
The
agmc organisation is however a national and even international operation and
network. Perpetrators can access and reprogram anywhere if you are being
accessed although it is more difficult and means more reprogramming. However, if
you keep on moving this programming can become worthless as it is not tied to a
particular “home based” perpetrator. However, perpetrators can also network with
each other and just supply the “appropriate cues” for accessing and deployment
to each other.
A major concern is that the
constant travelling may also be in reality that you are being sent on missions
as a courier and spy. The grubs may have deceived you into thinking that you are
“escaping” and owe them something which is to courier information and
spy.
To examine this possibility,
look at whether you actually enjoy travelling constantly, want to actually
settle down, want to do both, etc. Look at what your dreams are saying and how
you actually feel about travelling constantly. Sometimes you may need to
compromise – which is the greatest fear- being reprogrammed or going on
missions? You can also pretend you are going on missions and then not.
Settling
Down
Some survivors choose to settle
down either in a new place or in the city/town/region they are at. The
advantages of settling down are: your own space – the freedom to do what you
actually want in that space, consistency, developing friendships and
partnerships, going to work and doing studies, recreation in one place, a
permanent on going counselling relationship, a long term support network close
by, having pets, a garden, etc, having your own computer, tv/video, etc.
Psychologically it is a nest and a reminder that you have escaped the
grubs.
The problem with settling down
is that it can mean being accessed and reprogrammed. Some survivors are aware of
this and also aware that they can stop it. They are confident that they know how
to stop being accessed, reprogrammed and intimidated.
What is important in choosing to
settle down is truly knowing yourself and whether you can deal with possible
accessing, reprogramming and intimidation. Also consider if you really want to
settle down and you enjoy being in one place constantly. Most survivors do
settle down and enjoy the comforts and consistency of a home.
Moving to a New
Place
Safety can also mean physically
escaping to another area that is a long way from the main grub
perpetrators. It is usually best to
go to another city/town far away in another state or the other side of the
country or even move to another country. This can be permanently or temporarily
especially until the accessing programming at least is undone . This can be
important both psychologically and physically. It is also important to try and
pick a place that you were not sent to before or which the grubs didnt want you
to go to. As said before, the grubs would like you to be in one place as the
main perpetrator is there and can manipulate you directly either with
close accessing, deployment and/or reprogramming. The main perpetrator knows the
main cues and deception abused. Also a lot of their time and money went into the
programming which they do not want to lose. And there is some arrogance in that
the perpetrator treats the victim like s/he is some “personal pet”. But agmc is
a national and even international operation and network and the main perpetrator
may pass on the cues and accessing, etc to another programmer in that new area
and you maybe reprogrammed. Also be careful that you maybe relocated to a new
city/town/region deliberately by the grubs as they may want the particular
skills you were forced to get or for any other reason. They may try and deceive
you that “they will help you escape perpetrators where you are staying”, but in
fact are abusing you. Listen to what parts are telling you and whether you
actually want o move to this new town.
Staying in the Same
Place
Some survivors choose to stay in
the same place they were abused in either as children and/or adults. They do
this because they simply like the place and do not wish to move. They have built
up long term friendships, counselling relationships, have innocent family, abused or not living there, and
who can be really important in escaping.
They may also know the media and other ways of educating about the abuse
better because they have lived in the place for a long time. They may also
simply enjoy the climate, what the city/town/region offers, etc. Safety is an
important issue here as the long term perpetrators are also based there. A lot
of breaking accessing is important. However, breaking programming and accessing
is essentially the same everywhere and can be achieved in a place of long term
abuse.